Feels Like Home
by zzzooe
Summary: /“Well then you can join the club,” Rosalie said. “What club?” Jasper asked. “The: I’ve-screwed-a-Cullen Club.”/ ONESHOT.


_This is the product of my holiday writing. Sorry, haven't got inspiration for Would You? yet, inspiration hasn't hit! So, urm. I hope you enjoy! My longest piece yet and one that I am incredibly proud of! :)_

**Song: Feels like Home – Chantal Krevikul? Can't remember her name sorry.**

**The: I've-Screwed-A-Cullen club, Copyright Zoe Tulloch, 2010. Lol.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and their characters but I own: Brandon, Gracie, Adam, Demi, Marie, Jodie, Brooke AND awesome plot lines.**

**Aren't you jealous Meyer? You should be.**

**Disclaimer No. 2: P.C and Kristen Cast own Heath and Drew. I just borrowed their names. But, they don't have me because my way of Zoe is spelt Z.O.E! Yay! :) Though, I wish Erik owned me! (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge) ;)**

**8545 words!! :O**

* * *

Before I was born, my mother had a miscarriage. Or, so I thought. She wasn't supposed to have children; well she wasn't supposed to _be able_ to have children. But of course, here I am.

It turns out, that I was no longer the oldest child in my family. I am the oldest, and the youngest. I am an only child. Well, I _was_ the only orphan in my family. Yes, you heard right. I am now officially an orphan. When dawn broke over the bleak horizon three weeks ago, it revealed a car wreck which contained two bodies, their hands clasped together tightly, showing that they were strongly in love all the while, even when they were dying. My parents. This happened just out of Otaki, in the North Island of New Zealand.

So, getting back to the 'miscarriage'. I was currently staring across the table at my parent's lawyer, as he explained to me over and over again, that I had an older brother.

"A brother?" I squeaked out, the tears threatening to overflow, "First of all my parents die, and now I find out that they've been lying to me all my life?!"

"His name is Emmett McCarty, er, Cullen. He lives in Forks, Washington, USA, with his adoptive parents Esme and Carlisle Cullen, and their other adoptive children: Rosalie, Alice, Edward and Jasper."

"_Other adopted children?_"

He nodded, "That now includes you. You will be flown there tomorrow morning at 9am, the flight taking approximately 30 hours."

"But I can't afford that."

"Don't worry Miss Swan; it's all been taken care of."

"Please, call me Bella."

"Well that's everything, and you can access the money when you turn 18."

I nodded and stood up, turning around to leave. When I was at the doorway, he spoke again.

"And Bella? Good luck," he said with a smile.

"Thank-you," I whispered.

_- Arriving in Port Angeles after the flight –_

The flight was tiring; I slept nearly the whole way after not getting any sleep the night before, my mind whirring with all the possible situations that could come up while I was staying my the Cullens. My new family.

The thing is, I haven't really come to terms with my parent's death. Some people say that I'm very strong; others say I'm bound to crack. What scares me is that I haven't shed a single tear. Nothing when I found out, nothing when I was at the funeral, nothing when I read the will. Just nothing.

I got off the plane at Port Angeles, not sure of what to expect. They could be strong, religious people. They could be heavily prejudiced. They could be _vampires_ for all I knew.

After grabbing my bags I walked out to the seating area cautiously. It was so _big_! There were people milling everywhere, and this was a small airport compared to the likes of LAX or JFK.

Then I stopped, everything coming into focus. There, merely ten metres ahead of me, stood a family; holding a card saying: _Isabella Swan_. I smiled timidly and strode forward to meet them.

A man stepped forward, he had blonde that was almost white, blue eyes and he looked very young.

"Hello, I'm Carlisle Cullen, I'm very sorry to hear about the news of your parents. Welcome to the family."

He said it with such gentleness, that it brought tears to my eyes.

"Thank-you so much for taking me in," I said.

A lady with a heart-shaped face, caramel coloured hair and brown eyes walked quickly up to me and wrapped me in a tight hug.

"I'm Esme, it's great to meet you Isabella," she spoke in my ear as we were still wrapped up in our hug; I was hugging her back with the same warmth – or so I hoped.

Carlisle and Esme stood back and I noticed all the rest of the family standing there. From the middle emerged a big, burly guy who was about 6.2" with short, dark, curly hair and green eyes. There was a gigantic grin stretched over his face and it suddenly occurred to my brain – he looked like me.

"Emmett?" I asked.

He nodded his head and ran the rest of the way to me, sweeping all my 110 pounds into a bear hug.

"Can't… breathe… Em," I managed to rasp out.

"Sorry!" he said.

"I'm so glad I found you," I whispered.

"I'm glad too," he smiled. Then he took a step back and introduced the rest of the family, "This is Rosalie, she's my girlfriend,"

Winking at me, he gestured to a tall, statuesque blonde with piercing blue eyes. She nodded and smiled brightly at me.

"This is Jasper and this is Alice,"

He pointed first to a honey blonde haired, brown eyed male who was holding hands with a short, black spiky haired beautiful girl, with grey eyes.

"And this, is Edward,"

When I laid my eyes on Edward, he took my breath away. He was tall and had a very muscular body; his hair was the colour of a copper penny and his eyes were the most startling shade of green.

"Hey Bella, it's good to meet you," he smiled, his voice velvety smooth.

Even his amazing voice took my breath away. My head was feeling slightly woozy and my heart was beating madly. I took a deep, shaky breath and said, "Thank-you so much all of you. I'm really glad I can be here."

My voice was saying everything I should say, but my mind was glued on Edward.

_**There's something in your eyes that makes me want lose myself,**_

_**Makes me want to lose myself, in your eyes.**_

_**There's something in your voice, makes my heart beat fast,**_

_**I hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life.**_

I fell for him straight away.

_5 weeks later –_

I was sitting on my bed; my laptop on my knees, while I was flicking through the photos Carlisle and Esme took when we went to Crescent Lake yesterday. We were constantly jumping off the small jetty they had there, eating, Rosalie and Alice were sunbathing and Edward, Emmett, Jasper and I were playing games, having races, doing bombs off the jetty and making sandcastles. I wasn't worried in the least that I had more fun with them, the girls were my best friends and the guys were my source of entertainment – _No, not in 'that' way! – _They all accepted me for who I truly was: A brown haired, brown eyed tomboy, average height and weight. Plain Jane, but accepted. It made me feel truly wanted.

I kept going through all the photos and then there was a soft knock at the door.

"Come in," I sung.

"Hey Bella," he smiled. Without even looking up I knew who it was. His voice, his smile, his eyes, just him. He took my breath away every single time. We had become such great friends over the last 5 weeks; I could say that we were even closer than the girls and I. We talked heaps, had the same interest in music and books, and we just _clicked_.

Last week we were up late talking in his room and I ended up falling asleep there, as did he. It was the most peaceful sleep I had had in a long time. Well, ever actually.

-Flashback-

_I was so warm, I didn't want to move. There was obviously the sunlight streaming in onto my face, I could feel it heating me up. But, in my room, I got the afternoon sun. That was weird. In fact, Edward, Esme and Carlisle were the only ones who got the morning sun._

Edward!_ That's it! Last night, we were up late talking. I must've fallen asleep. Suddenly, everything became clear. There were a pair of strong arms wrapped tightly around me, and someone was stroking my hair. Then, I heard whispering close by._

"_Guys, come and look at this! They're so cute!"_

"_I knew they'd get together."_

"_Do you think they, you know, did it?"_

"_They aren't even together! Well, they haven't said anything," A voice said, sounding suspiciously like Emmett._

"_Maybe they are… maybe they wanted to keep it a secret. They're always together and talking and they're perfect for each other!" Okay, that was definitely Alice. _

"_Aw, that is gorgeous. Carlisle, get the camera!" That sounded a lot like Esme. So there was Emmett, which means Rosalie, Alice, which means Jasper and Esme, which means Carlisle. _

_Great. They were all watching us sleep. I wondered if Edward was asleep. I could feel his breath tickling my cheek and I knew that if I turned my head towards him, our lips would touch. But, me being me wouldn't dare. _

"_Bella," there was a soft whisper in my ear._

"_Yeah Edward?"_

"_I feel violated."_

_I stifled my giggle by pretending to stir and shuffling closer to him, laughing softly – very softly – into his shoulder. His arms tightened around me, but it wasn't crushing like Emmett's signature hug, I fit there perfectly._

"_They fit together perfectly!" Rosalie said, acknowledging my same thoughts._

_There was the flash of a camera, not once but quite a few times. I sighed._

"_Should we put them in their place Bella?" Edward whispered._

"_How?"_

"_We'll kiss."_

"_Kiss?!"_

"_I know it seems awkward but we should. Only if you want to though."_

_But that was the thing. It wasn't awkward. I had dreamed about this for the last 4 weeks._ _I _wanted_ to. So badly. All I could do was take the chance fate seemed to be giving me._

"_Sure."_

"_Pretend to wake up and then I'll wake up; knowing them they'll stay and watch. Then kiss me."_

Just got for it,_ my inner voice told me. _Take the opportunity.

_I yawned._

"_Bella's waking up! Let's go."_

_Dammit!_

"_Wait, we might get a show!" _

_I thought I'd never say this but thank god for Emmett!_

_There was a muffled smack and I knew that Rosalie had hit Emmett. Edward's chest moved softly with his laughter._

"_I'm staying," Alice whispered._

_I heard a sigh and I knew that the rest of the crew would stay too. There was no stopping Alice when it got down to it._

_I slowly opened my eyes and rubbed the sleep out of them. I turned my head toward Edward who was slowly waking up too._

_I was so close to him, my chest was pressed tightly again his chest and our noses were touching. His opened his eyes and I smiled at him._

"_Morning babe," he said._

_I chuckled, "Babe? That's a new nickname."_

"_Well what do you prefer? Honey, babe, sweetheart, beautiful, love,-" _

"_Love," I interrupted him._

"_Well that's decided then. Where's my morning kiss?"_

_I heard everyone draw in an excited breath._

_I leant in slowly, ever so slowly and gently touched my lips to his, closing my eyes. At our touch, I felt a spark go through my body and I pressed closer to him, breathing in his amazing scent. Our lips fit together like two pieces of a puzzle and I couldn't get enough of him. One of his hands knotted in my hair and the other wrapped tightly around my waist. I moaned – just for show of course – and there were the clicking sounds of a camera behind me. I slowly and painfully pulled my lips away from his, unable to hold in my laughter._

_Sitting up and turning around to face everyone, I watched as their faces turned from shocked to confused. _

_I offered Edward a high-five and he joined in my laughter._

"_You guys are so easy to trick," I said in between breaths._

"_Right…," Alice drawled, "That heated kiss was totally fake."_

_It was their turn to laugh. I looked up to Edward and was shocked by the expression on his face. He was looking at me intently. I drew in a quick breath._

_He hung his head, "Alice is right. I may as well own up to it."_

"_If you're owning up then I'll own up too," I said confidently, feeling totally out of character._

_His head snapped up; his eyes locking with mine._

"_You weren't faking?!"_

"_No. You weren't either?"_

"_No. Oh god Bella."_

_I put my finger to his lips to silence him. Then leaning in I kissed him again, wrapping my arms around his neck. He kissed me back, matching passion for passion, love for love. _

_There were whoops and cheer around us, but I could barely hear them. I was concentrating on imprinting this image into my brain. We broke apart, breathing hard._

"_Be my girlfriend?" Edward asked me._

_All I could do was nod._

"_Took you long enough!" Emmett yelled from behind us._

- End Flashback –

Edward sat down next to me on the bed and wrapped his arm around me. I nestled closer to him and smiled, still looking through the pictures. We laughed at some, but apart from that we didn't make a sound; we were just enjoying each others company. I neared the end of the photos and the last two photos were on that very day, the first one was us sleeping side by side. The other one was us kissing. I smiled, tears coming to my eyes. I didn't know they had spilled over until Edward was wiping away.

"What's wrong love?"

"I just feel so happy," I whispered.

_**If you knew, how lonely, my life has been,**_

_**And how long, I've been, so alone.**_

_**If you knew how I wanted someone to come along,**_

_**And change my life, the way you've done,**_

_7 weeks later, first day for the year at school –_

"Come on Bella! You'd better be putting those clothes on!"

The clothes she was talking about were dark blue skinny jeans, red peep toe high heels and a red v-necked sweater that showed way too much cleavage.

"But Alice!" I whined.

"No buts!"

I walked out of my room awkwardly and Edward came up and hugged me tightly.

"Alice, Bella looks beautiful, but I'm not exactly agreeing dressing her like this on her first day. The guys will go crazy."

I scoffed, but Alice sighed and nodded.

"Yay!" I laughed, planning to give a chaste kiss but he pulled me closer, his arms sneaking around my waist. I wasn't about to disagree, so I wrapped my arms around his neck, knotting my fingers in his o-so-messy hair.

"Guys?" Alice asked.

We didn't notice, Edward pushed me against the wall and slowly slid his tongue in my mouth. I made a noise of contentment and slid my right leg in between his legs.

Alice 'hmphed' and I heard her footsteps slowly recede.

Edward's hands began to travel down towards my ass, so I grabbed them with my hands, not breaking the kiss. Make-out sessions were pretty much like this, though it was more fun to do on a bed. Edward's bad side usually came out then, but I still pushed him away. He wouldn't say anything, just smirk. We hadn't gone past first base, but that was enough. For now. But saying that, I wasn't sure how long I could last. If he wanted it, then I'd go for it.

I was sixteen, only a sophomore, so I definitely had times where I just wanted to jump him and sometimes he would act like he wanted to as well. I knew for sure that Jasper and Alice; plus Emmett and Rosalie had done the deed; there were no secrets in this family. Carlisle and Esme were okay with it as long as they were 'safe'.

I reluctantly removed my lips from Edward's and sighed, "I'd love to make-out all day but I have to get changed and we have to get to school."

"Time to go!" Emmett yelled from downstairs.

"Shit," I muttered, "Alice gets her way after all."

"Well at least you have me right?"

I sighed, "Yeah, I suppose I do."

I grabbed my bag and swung it over my shoulder, putting my arm around his waist as he did the same to me, though he was mostly guiding me down the stairs. With my luck, I'd fall and break my leg or something; and these high heels weren't helping at all.

We got to the bottom of the stairs and I scowled at Alice.

"It's your fault," she chimed, "If you two hadn't been making-out then you would've had time to change."

"You two were making out?" Emmett asked, "Score Edward!"

I rolled my eyes at my brother, "Let's just go."

We went out to Emmett's Jeep and Edward grabbed my hand, pulling me towards his Volvo.

"See you at school guys!" I waved.

The drive seemed to take only a few seconds and before I knew it, we were there.

Edward walked around the side and opened my door for me, taking my hand. As I came into view of the school, everything seemed to go quiet.

"Great," I mumbled, "Just what I need."

Edward's hand resumed its place around my waist and we walked towards the office. I could barely hear the whisperings that were taking place but I knew that they were about me and Edward.

"How long have you been at this school?" I said, trying to bring the conversation away from me being stared at.

"Well I started here 3 years ago with Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper started around 2 years ago and Alice started two months after them."

"So I'm the first newbie in a while?"

"Yeah. But don't worry; I made sure all my classes are with you, except one. But Jasper is in that class with you."

I smiled brightly as we opened the door to the office.

We got my schedule and my classes were:

**1****st**** Period: Trigonometry – Mr. Holdsworth: Rm 14**

**2****nd**** Period: French - Mr. Menard: Rm 5**

**Break 10.45-11.10**

**3****rd**** Period: Literature – Mr. Clarke: Rm 8**

**4****th**** Period: Drama – Mrs. Taylor. Music Suite**

**5****th**** Period: Lunch**

**6****th**** Period: Biology – Mr. Banner: Rm 19**

**7****th**** Period: Gym – Mrs. Booth: Gym**

**8****th**** Period: Study Hall.**

"I have everything with you except Drama; Jasper will be there with you. I have music then instead."

"That's cool. I really like Jasper." I said.

We made our way to Rm 14 and when we entered together, everyone stared at us.

This was going to be a very long day.

_-Lunchtime_

Jasper and I walked to the cafeteria together, after Drama.

"You're good at drama Bella, you never mentioned anything like that to us," Jasper said.

"We'll it's probably because of all the drama in my life."

"What drama?"

"It's a long story…," I sighed.

-Flashback –

_I walked into my French class slowly, sitting in my usual seat at the front of the class. The bell rung and the rest of the people in my class slowly filtered in. Suddenly, Brooke walked in, with Lauren and Jessica just behind her. They were like creepy, mini-clones. _

"_So Bella, still ugly?" Brooke laughed._

"_You know it's sad to laugh at your own jokes," I said._

_She scoffed, "Ugh, whatever. Like you can tell me what's what."_

"_I can tell you that your left hand makes an L shape. You wouldn't know that, because you can't tell your left from your right."_

"_Sure, you have your smart-ass comments but you're just an ugly, plain, boring girl that no-one likes."_

"_No-one likes you Bella," Lauren said._

"_Haven't you noticed?" Jessica said._

_I looked down._

"_Yeah, keep your head down. We wouldn't want any of the guys at our school getting scarred from the image of your face."_

"_They'll be scarred deep," Jessica chimed in._

"_And you're too ugly just to avert your eyes from; you're like those freaks from circus' or carnivals." _

_But all the while, I knew she was right. I _was_ ugly. I _was_ a freak._

_That's what you get from being different. You like to read books? Watch Sci-Fi's? Wrong, wrong, wrong. They'll stomp all over you and then leave you to wallow in your thoughts. And the scary thing is that they're always right. They just confirm the fears that you had. _

_Brooke and her 'minions' ruled Otaki High School. They were behind all the rumours, all the gossip and they'd screwed nearly every guy on the football team. Don't get me wrong, some of the guys on the football team were really nice, especially Drew, Heath and Jacob. It was just the girl's evil charm. They lured you in with entirely bad intentions. _

"_You'd better stay away from Jacob, Bella. He's mine for the taking and you're worth nothing to him. He's just using you, but you don't give him shit. You just want friendship while he wants so much more. You're dragging him along like a little puppy. He's only guy that's weird enough to actually want you and you're making him regret wanting you. It's only a matter of time. All too soon, he'll realize what a fool he is and never want to see you again. You'd better count the minutes Bella, because your time is running out." Brooke narrowed her eyes even more than they were. She looked scary. She was scary. She is scary._

_Then she walked to the back of the class where here seats were 'reserved' for her, the guys paying all attention to her and the girls wanting to be like her. I would never be like her, and I never want to be._

_I tried to pay attention to French class but it was challenging. I wasn't very good already but with a distraction, I was terrible. I kept up my deep breathing but in the end I couldn't hold my tears back. They were smudging the work in my book but thankfully, they were silent. As soon as the bell rung, I dashed out of the classroom and ran to the toilet. I spend 2 minutes fixing myself up and quickly walked out to my next class, hoping my red, teary eyes weren't too noticeable._

_It happened everyday, and it broke me. __Drama was the constant in my life. I was so good at it in real life, so I decided to join drama class. I felt instantly at home. I could deal with my drama easier and I could still experience it._

_But I'd never forget how much they hurt me. Ever._

-End Flashback-

Jasper looked at me worriedly and I took a deep breath before opening the door to the cafeteria. All eyes watched me of course, and I didn't miss the whispers.

"_I heard that she only met Edward 6 weeks ago, and she's already pregnant."_

"_She's screwing Jasper and Edward."_

"_Her parents were shot by a terrorist."_

"_Look at her, she's so up herself. She thinks she rules here. Well Little Miss High Heels can't rule this school."_

I just kept my head high and marched over to the lunch line, smiling over at Angela Webber who sat with her boyfriend Ben Cheney. She waved at me and all eyes zeroed in on us. I grabbed my lunch quickly and strode to the corner where the Cullens were sitting and sat down next to Edward. He looked over at me sweetly and the looked worried.

"What's wrong Love?" He said, using my 'nickname' from the sleeping incident.

"Nothing, why?"

"You've been crying."

"I have? Oh, I didn't notice." I hastily wiped at my eyes.

"Edward, she's crying because you haven't screwed her yet," Emmett pointed out.

Rosalie smacked him on the back of the head but Edward looked over at me quizzically.

"Were you really?"

"No! I was just thinking about the drama back at my old school. Boy am I glad to get away from there!"

"Oh, okay. Are you sure?"

"Bella, he just wants to find an excuse to screw you," Alice said nonchalantly.

It was my turn to look at Edward quizzically. He looked calm but I saw a flash in his eyes of something. Was it lust? Oh my god, he really did.

My mouth fell open and we continued to stare at each other.

"Well then you can join the club," Rosalie said.

"What club?" Jasper asked.

"The: I've-screwed-a-Cullen Club."

This broke Edward and my staring competition. There was silence around the table for exactly 10 seconds before we all burst into hysterical laughing. Emmett was pounding the table with his fist, Alice and Rosalie had collapsed against each other and Jasper actually had tears running down his face.

Edward swung his arm over my shoulder and I snuggled into him, still giggling.

"Tonight?" I whispered to Edward.

His head whipped around to scrutinize me, "Are you sure?"

"As sure as I am that the sun will rise tomorrow."

He smiled gently and breathed in my scent, "Mmm, I'm looking forward to it."

I smirked and licked my lips. Then, turning to the other I said, "I tell you tomorrow morning how operation: Club Membership goes."

They all gawked, but I just laughed, Edward chuckling along with me.

_**It feels like home to me **_

_**It feels like home to me**_

_**If feels like I'm all the way back where I come from,**_

_**It feels like home to me**_

_**It feels like home to me**_

_**It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong,**_

_-The Next Week-_

I was currently in my room, pinning photos to my new bulletin board. I had printed off a handful from when we went to Crescent Lake, the photos of Edward and I from the sleeping incident and just a couple from random photo opportunities. I had gotten the note that Edward gave me before he first 'screwed me' as Emmett put it, and he told me to read it whenever I could. I nearly had it memorized but I loved reading his beautiful script.

_Bella,_

_Before you I met you, my life was like the night sky. Only faint lights were dotted around the darkness. But then you came along like a meteor and flashed my night sky with light. And then you were gone. I can't adjust to what it is now, because everything seems so insignificant compared to you. You are my life now. You are the thing I wake up for, the thing that I breathe for, that I live for. Without you my life would have no purpose. Before I first saw you, Romeo and Juliet seemed like a silly little fable, that you couldn't fall in love with someone that fast. They were merely 13; young and foolish. But you showed me that nothing is impossible and that everything is possible, and that's just one of the reasons that I love you. Your walk, your laugh, your voice, your style, your personality. I always thought that there was a limit of how much you can love one person but yet again you proved me wrong, because I fall more in love with you every single day. Don't ever listen to anyone who says otherwise because you _are_ beautiful. You are everything I ever wanted and everything I every needed, all wrapped up into one amazing package. Don't ever forget that I love you,_

_Edward._

When I first read it, I cried. They weren't sad tears, they were happy tears. When I showed Rosalie, Alice and Esme, they cried too. I thought it was the best thing someone had ever done for me.

Mum would've loved reading it, making me spill everything to her.

-Flashback-

"_Tell me all about him Bella! Is he tall? Is he handsome? Have you kissed him yet?"_

"_Mum, it's just Jacob. We're not together. But he is tall and handsome. And, hekissedmeIdidn'tkisshim!" I blurted out in a rush._

"_What?" _

"_He kissed me, I didn't kiss him."_

"_Ooh, was it nice? Did he use tongue?"_

"_Mum!"_

"_Okay, okay."_

-End Flashback-

And from then on, I kept having little thoughts on how Dad would like this, or that would've been a good birthday present for Mum.

I pinned the note up and stood back to look. It just needed one more thing…

I reached into my handbag and pulled out my wallet, finding the last family photo we had taken. It was of Mum, Dad and I, standing together in front of our house, before we went to my school prize giving last year.

I pinned it up and moved backwards, admiring my work.

_Mum and Dad would be proud of me._

Those eight words were all it took. I crumbled to the ground and rested my head on my knees, wrapping my arms around them and rocking back and forth. I still hadn't shed a tear for them yet, but it was like it was all stored up and the flood banks were being opened. Tears were constantly running down my face and I was sniffling quite badly. But my tears were silent. The silence seemed eerie, Dad would've worshipped the silence and yet Mum would've struggled to fill it.

_Mum and Dad._

There was a knock at the door and I heard someone open the door. There was a gasp and then I hear the sound of someone calling for someone. But it didn't register. I felt someone patting my back reassuringly but I barely noticed it. There were people talking and someone helped me to my feet, but soon after, I collapsed into their arms. Suddenly, I was being lifted and carried somewhere. But I didn't understand where.

I couldn't understand who was holding me, where I we going and if I was going to be alright. All I understood was the pain. The pain that was crushing me inside, that I could finally let out. The grief, the loss, the hopelessness, the _emptiness_. I had forgotten who I was, why I was here and what I was here for.

All I could remember, all I could feel, all I could understand, was the pain.

_Mum and Dad._

Gone.

And then I was laid on a bed, tucked underneath and my nose wiped. Someone hopped in beside me and circled their arms around me. I opened my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Shh, it's okay Bella. You can cry. Let it all out."

It was Edward. I knew that Edward had my best interest at heart so I sunk into his chest and cried.

When I woke up, the sunlight was filing in through the window, illuminating everything in its path. I looked up and found that Edward was awake and looking at me cautiously, as if he was worried I'd burst into tears again.

"I'm fine Edward. I just hadn't cried for them at all."

"At all?" he asked incredulously.

"I just couldn't. So I was doing my bulletin board and it pinned up that photo of us from my wallet. And I thought that Mum and Dad would be proud of me. That's what set me off."

"Well it's normal to cry for parents."

I nodded, taking a deep breath, "Okay, so what are we doing today?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we could stay in bed…," he trailed off suggestively.

"I like the sound of that," I grinned.

_**A window breaks down along our street,**_

_**And a siren wails, in the night,**_

_**But I'm alright 'cause I have you here with me,**_

_**And I can almost see through the dark there is light,**_

_-2 years later, Graduation-_

So this was it. Forks High School Graduation for 2012.

I was currently sitting at Alice's vanity, as her and Rosalie attacked me with curling tongs, Hair straightners, Mascara, Eyeliner, Foundation, Eye shadow and Lip gloss. I didn't really want to be here but apparently I needed to be beautiful, on today of all days.

Edward wouldn't let on at all, no matter how much I begged. I ended up sleeping in my own bed last night. We usually slept together in Edward's room, because he had a bigger bed than me. But it was weird sleeping alone. I know it was because I was angry at Edward, but I wanted so badly to have him there, to wrap my arms around him. Needless to say, I cried myself to sleep.

I hadn't seen him yet this morning but I was only half glad. One part of me was glad I didn't have to see him, the other part wanted to see him, apologize and be happy again. It was a strongly matched fight of a decision.

In the end, I decided to stay put. I would see him eventually and Alice and Rosalie were far from done with their instruments of torture. They had brought me a black knee length skirt with flowers on it and I was using my red blouse. Over top was going to be my bright, sickly yellow graduation gown and cap.

Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper had already graduated last year, but they were still coming along to watch. They hadn't gone to college yet, claiming they wanted us to be all together in college. I think it was just Emmett's idea of having a year off!

The good news from all of this was that we had all been accepted at Dartmouth, Rosalie for Mechanics, Alice for design and business, Emmett for sports training, Jasper as a psychologist, Edward for Medicine and myself for Journalism.

We had got an apartment, thanks to Carlisle and Esme, only a few blocks away from Dartmouth, which had three bedrooms; one for each couple, a kitchen, a large living area and 2 bathrooms; one for the boys and one for the girls we had decided.

"Okay, stand up Bella," Alice instructed, bringing me back to the present. She leaded me to the long mirror on the other side of her room and I closed my eyes when Rosalie prompted me.

"One, two, three, open!" Rosalie and Alice chanted together.

I opened my eyes.

The girl that was staring me back in the mirror was beautiful. Her hair lay in loose curls, the front part of her hair swept back and clipped. Her brown eyes were wide with astonishment, the long, dark lashes making them look even bigger. A dark brown eye shadow was swept across her lids, making them look soft. There was a small amount of black eyeliner that had been aptly smudged, under her eyes. She had a light peach lipstick on, with a clear gloss to finish it off. Her usually pale skin had a bronze glow to it and there was no blush, she was sure to provide it herself.

The girl staring me back in the mirror was _me_.

My mouth formed an 'O' shape and suddenly, the girl in the mirror was smiling brightly. I turned to Rosalie and Alice, tears forming in my eyes.

"Thank-you," I whispered, "I look amazing."

They just smiled and said it was no problem. Rosalie escorted me to my room; she didn't want Edward to see me _just_ yet. Alice had gone to do her own make-up and get ready, so I slipped on my skirt and blouse. I opened my wardrobe and grabbed me graduation cap and gown, also grabbing my wallet and putting it into my small, silver handbag.

The clock on my drawers said I had 15 minutes until we needed to leave so I sat on the edge of my bed. My eyes drifted to my bulletin board and I smiled. I had updated the photos recently but there were still a few from when I first got here. There was also the note Edward had given me when I was 16 and the day after that we had made club stickers and car bumpers stickers for our club: I've-Screwed-A-Cullen. It all worked out because Edward, Alice and Emmett had changed their names to Cullen, Jasper and Rosalie kept Hale and I kept Swan.

It was extremely entertaining when we showed up at school the following Monday, all eyes grew wide as they took in our bumper stickers and club badges that we wore. Some of it was taken in good humour but we did get taken to the principal's office on request from a handful of teachers. We explained that it was perfectly legal and that our guardians knew. They accepted that and we walked out of the office triumphant.

I stood up and opened my door, walking along the hall to Alice's room, finding her ready. Edward's door was shut so I thought he was either not ready or downstairs waiting. I took Alice's hand and we made our way to the stairs.

We walked down slowly because I was wearing a pair of black, 3 inch stilettos. Alice and Rosalie had put me into thousands of pairs of heels over the last 2 years and I had got used to them. Only on flat surfaces though. If I was walking down stairs, I still had to watch out!

We reached the bottom of the stairs and walked into the living room where Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme and Edward sat on the couches. Everyone turned at the sound of approaching heels but I only had eyes for Edward. I let go of Alice's hand as she made her way to Jasper and I steadily walked to Edward. He was beyond words. He was wearing a black button up shirt and black dress pants, his hair in its usual disarray and his cap and gown thrown over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to get angry and I should've just gone with it," I said calmly.

Edward's response was to throw his arms around me and I sunk into his chest.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too," he replied.

There were flashes of a camera behind us and I turned around and smiled. Esme and Carlisle took several _million_ photographs, with different people and serious shots and silly shots and so on. All too soon we had to make our way to school, for the last time.

We went to the gym to line up and I kissed Edward goodbye as he went to stand by Alice. It was times like these that I wished I had changed my name to Cullen. Edward was valedictorian this year – no surprises there – so he was due to make a speech. When he walked calmly to the podium, I smiled. You want to know why? Because I was so damn proud of him.

"High school seems like purgatory for most of us, because it is that long time of school, that isn't that fun. You have exams, papers, pop quizzes and assessments constantly. It's nothing like Elementary school because you don't get to have free time, there isn't a sandpit, and people at High School are stronger, and not only physically.

"High School also seems to be very stereotypical. There are the nerds, the jocks, the sluts, the minorities, the Goths/Emos. And then the group I come from is the adoptive family. We usually keep to ourselves, making jokes at each others expensive, laughing at the rest of the school, being crazy. But the thing is, that no matter what club or clique we are from cough, the: I've-Screwed-A-Cullen Club, cough, we are all in the same boat.

"So when we go out into that big wide world, facing new challenges and looking at new horizons, my message for you, is that you should stray away from the stereotypes and be who you want to be. I could drone on about all this nonsense on how graduation is a new beginning for everyone, but I'd rather leave you thinking, than leave you snoring!

"Now that you've passed High School, you should embrace everything as it comes by, take every opportunity and live life to the fullest. Because, you never know how long you've got. Thank-You."

Edward stepped down and went back into his line, amid cheers and clapping from the audience.

The principal then started calling out names and we filed up to get our certificates. There was a cheer and everyone threw their caps up into the air. Then people were hugging, crying and laughing. I bent down and grabbed my cap, then I pushed through the crowds of people and found Edward and Alice, just as the rest of the family came to meet us. Edward looked over at Carlisle and he nodded, so Edward turned to me. He grabbed both my hands and looked me in my eyes. Dropping one of my hands he reached into his pocket, and slowly slid down onto one knee.'

My breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened. Quite a few people around us had stopped to watch us but my eyes were locked on Edward.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I promise to love you every single day of my life. Will you marry me?" Edward spoke, his velvety voice floating gently around me.

"Yes!" I said, sounding way more clam than I felt.

He opened the small black box and revealed a stunning silver band with three rectangular rubies studded into the silver. He slowly put it onto my ring finger of my left hand and then stood up and pulled me close.

I could faintly hear Alice and Rosalie whining that their boyfriends hadn't proposed to them and a few collective "Aww"-s around us, but all my concentration was on Edward. I leant in a planted my lips firmly on his, his hands cradling my face gently. The kiss was soft, sweet and everything I'd dreamt of.

"You'd better give me grandchildren," Esme laughed behind us.

Edward smirked, "Oh, we certainly will."

I just smiled because internally I was singing. '**I'm getting married!**'

_**If you knew how much this moment means to me,**_

_**And how long, I've waited for your touch.**_

_**And if you knew, how happy you are making me,**_

_**I'd never thought I'd love somebody so much,**_

_-7 years later-_

"Adam can you change the channel for Marie?" I yelled into the living room.

The doorbell rang and Edward walked in with Gracie.

"Hey Babe," he said, giving me a hug, "How was your day with Adam and Marie?"

"It was okay, I'm just cooking Spaghetti Bolognese for dinner. How was your day as work with Gracie?"

"It was great," Edward smiled, "She was a perfect angel and everyone loved her."

He sat Gracie down and she ran to the living room to see her twin, Adam. Those two were practically inseparable; even though Gracie was a clear mixture of both Edward and I with my hair and Edward's eyes and face, but only slightly clumsy. Adam was a mini-Edward and he was absolutely gorgeous. The twins were 3 years old and Marie, our youngest was nearing two. Edward and I weren't sure if we wanted more, but I had the definite answer to that.

Edward had passed college with flying colours and was now a doctor at Seattle Hospital. I was working from home for _La Bella Italiano_ Publishing, reading and reviewing books that may be published. It was a job I absolutely loved.

"Edward can you set the table?" I asked.

"Sure Babe."

I stirred the sauce in the pan and checked the pot to see how the Spaghetti was going. The others were coming any minute now. And by others, I mean Rosalie, Emmett and Jodie, Alice, Jasper with Brandon and Demi and Esme and Carlisle. We were nearing Christmas, the streets were getting colder and Seattle was getting more snow than usual, the Christmas tree was up and because Rosalie, Emmett and Jodie were going away for Christmas, we decided to have Christmas early. We went to Alice and Jasper's the year before that and well, it was quite eventful.

-Flashback-

_I turned off the engine and hopped out to get Grace and Adam, while Edward grabbed Marie and the carry bag we brought with pyjamas and our gifts for the family. We quickly walked up to Alice and Jasper's front door, taking of our shoes and walking in to the smells of Roast Ham, roasted vegetables and the definite smell of Christmas. _

_The twins were bouncing with excitement and we walked into the kitchen to find Jasper fixing up everything for the great feast, so I grabbed Marie from Edward and went into the living room, leaving Edward to help._

_When I got into the living room the fire was crackling brightly and Alice was sitting with Brandon helping him build towers. Adam raced off with Gracie to play with Brandon, who was one year older than them and I sat down next to Alice while Marie crawled after them. _

"_Merry Christmas!" I smiled, giving her a hug, "Where's Demi?"_

"_She's having a little map before the celebrations begin. Isn't Jasper such a darling helping in the Kitchen?"_

_I nodded and told her that I left Edward with them. All of a sudden I heard a booming voice and someone came into the living room._

"_Ho, ho ho, Merry Christmas!" _

_I looked up to see Emmett's trademark crinkly smile, but he had a white beard on his face and a big red suit on instead! He had a sack over his shoulder which was lumpy and I guessed that it would be filled with presents. He put the sack down by the big, real Christmas tree in the corner which was accordingly covered with tinsel, beads, candy canes, flashing lights and had a big, golden angel which sat on the top._

_Emmett/Santa knelt down by the kids who were staring at him in awe with big grins on their faces. _

"_Have you been good boys and girls this year?" Emmett asked them_

_They nodded enthusiastically._

"_Well that's good, because I brought you presents!"_

_They squealed in delight and clapped their hands and out of the corner of my eye I saw a gigantic Rosalie enter the room and sit on the couch next to me._

"_Why can't I just have this baby already?" Rosalie complained._

_Alice just shook her head and started to converse with Rosalie while I turned my eyes back to the kids and found that they were waving goodbye to Santa. He went out the door and they turned to each other, talking about the presents in the sack and how many they thought they'd get._

_The real Emmett walked in then and I stood up to give him a big hug._

"_Nice job," I laughed._

"_About what?" He teased._

"_Santa."_

"_I missed Santa?!"_

_I nodded somberly. His face fell and he sat next to the kids, asking them each in turn if he had missed Santa. They then proceeded to tell him all about it, so I stood up and hitched Marie onto my hip, walking to the kitchen to see how Edward and Jasper were going, Emmett following on my heels._

_Dinner was delicious and I was happy to say that the boys didn't burn anything. After dinner we all walked slowly to the living room, because we were all so full. The kids were jumping up and down so we got to present giving quickly. We decided to give all the kids their presents first so they would be occupied._

_We were just about to start giving our presents when Rosalie let out a small squeak. We all turned to look at her and she paled quickly._

"_Em, it's time," she said._

_The men went to grab Rosalie's baby bag and gear while us women grabbed our kids and took them out to their respective cars. _

_We then rushed to the hospital and eight long hours later, Jodie Elizabeth Cullen was born. 25.12.2018 at 7.8oz._

_We all worried about when we would give our presents but Emmett turned to us and said: "This is the best present I could ever get."_

-End Flashback-

I looked up, getting out of my daydream. There was a soft knock at the door and Edward went to get it. In piled Emmett with Jodie cradled in his arms and Rosalie trailing behind with her bag and a shopping bag full of what looked like presents. Then when I was just about to ask Rose to shut the door, Brandon sprinted in, Demi on his heels while Jasper followed looking worried and urging the kids to slow down, and Alice waddled in. At five months pregnant with her third child, she was pretty much getting used to the pregnant thing.

I waved at Alice and she smiled before disappearing into the lounge. A pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist and Edward buried his face into the crook of my neck, breathing deeply. I turned around and kissed him moving my arms around his torso. There was a cry of triumph behind me and I whirled around to find Emmett eating the sauce.

"Emmett!" I yelled.

"Nice plan Edward!"

"Edward!" I yelled.

They exchanged high-fives and then I got an idea.

"Well, I guess I'm going to leave the: I've-Screwed-A-Cullen club for the next few months," I slyly hinted.

Edward turned to me quickly, his eyes wide, "Babe! I'm sorry!"

"Nah, it's no big deal. I can go for a while without sex…"

"Babe, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. We were just joking around! Right Emmett?" He pleaded.

"Whoa, dude. I wasn't joking. I was going in for the sauce," Emmett explained before leaving the room.

Edward looked at me pleadingly.

"I think I'm going to leave the club for around, hmm… nine months? Does that sound about right to you?"

Edward froze, "Nine months?"

I bit my lip.

Edward's responding smile was the biggest I've seen in quite some time.

"Woo!" he yelled, picking me up and carrying me to the lounge.

Everyone looked at us like we were crazy before Edward burst out, "We're having another baby!"

Everyone laughed and congratulated us and I suddenly sniffed. Something was burning!

I sprinted to the kitchen to find Emmett eating the sauce again. But thankfully he was stirring it as well.

"Another Christmas disaster avoided right Bella?" Emmett laughed. The rest of my friends and their kids came into the kitchen to see what all the fuss was about and I turned to them just as Esme and Carlisle burst through the door, amid apologies.

They stopped and looked around.

"What's going on?" Esme asked.

"Emmett and Edward were being sneaky," Rosalie and I said at the same time.

"The sauce nearly burnt," Alice pointed out.

"Santa isn't here!" whined Emmett.

"The kids won't stop running!" Jasper exclaimed.

"I'm going to be a father again!" Edward shouted.

Carlisle shook his head, "What a weird family we have. Isn't that right Esme?"

Esme nodded, "But I wouldn't have it any another way!"

We all laughed and wished each other a Merry Christmas and were just generally happy. Because that's the kind of people we are.

_**It feels like home to me **_

_**It feels like home to me**_

_**If feels like I'm all the way back where I come from,**_

_**It feels like home to me**_

_**It feels like home to me**_

_**It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.**_

_**It feels like I'm all the way back, where I belong…**_

_**

* * *

**So, review please!_

_Kisses,_

_Zoe. :)_


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